We stopped by Barc yesterday and met Lisa. She had written me a few times last week letting me know about a kitten in need of a home.

We brought Murray (pronounced Murry) home with us yesterday because I felt that Tucker was in need of a friend. I wrote about this recently. I wrote about how he wanders around aimlessly talking to no one. I wrote about how he won’t eat unless I go to the food bowl with him. I wrote about how sad he’s been since Schmitty died. So we brought Murray home to see how the two of them got along.

At first it was what one might expect. Tucker followed Murray around as Murray sniffed and fell on top of everything. Tucker sniffed Murray’s butt. You know, the usual cat stuff. Pookum growled and walked away. That’s what Pookum does to everyone, including Tucker. So, we thought things might actually work out for us. Tucker might grow to snuggle with Murray like he once had with Schmitty. We believed he’d take Murray under his paw much like Schmitty once had for him. We still believe that even though things aren’t going quite as smoothly as we would have liked.

Tucker’s knocked him down a few times, nothing malicious, he just pushes on the top of his head and Murray falls over. It’s actually kind of funny. But then as time wore on Tucker became more and more stressed out. He vomited twice, which is not too, too unheard of but still alarming when you put it with everything else. He slept in the bathroom on the same bath mat Schmitty used to sleep on, again, not too weird. He tends to do that from time to time. At some point during the evening, I got up to go to the bathroom and I petted him. He acted normal, rolled over, showed me his underbelly and put his paws up touch my hands. I thought, well, maybe he just needs to get used to little Murray.

But then this morning I got up and I couldn’t find him. I finally found him in our laundry basket, which is fairly normal for him; he likes to hide and that’s one of his favorite places to hide. But the weird part is, the part that makes all the other things leading up this the weird potentially alarming, is I found him crying. Now, I don’t mean moisture around his eyes, I mean there were actual tears streaming down his face. I looked it up and, lo and behold, I found something on About.com about crying cats.

(I took the shot below after he stopped crying. But you can still see some tears in his eyes.)

Tobyjoe and I spent the next couple of hours trying to figure out why Tucker was crying. Was he crying because he was mad at us? Was he crying because he missed Schmitty and having Murray here he realized that Schmitty might not be returning? Was he crying because he had allergies? Are we reading too much into our cat’s emotions? Why did Tucker cry?

I don’t want to upset Tucker, he is my buddy after all. And I really like Murray. Bringing Murray back to Barc would really suck. Tobyjoe and Murray have become buddies already. But I don’t want to keep him at the expense of my big fat orange man’s happiness.

I’m at a loss. I am not sure what to do at this point.

Awwwww. First of all, Murray is an adorable little fella, and it is really sweet of you guys to take him in. But I totally understand your concerns here.

As we’ve talked about before, I think Tucker and Dub are very much alike in personality – Dub is a very high-strung kitty. He’s very emotional and I think that’s one of the coolest things about him, but it has also been a difficult thing at times. He does tend to exhibit signs of stress when something new or different is going on; he throws up, he’ll race back and forth through the apartment in a panic, he’ll hide, he licks himself vigorously, that sort of thing. We try to keep a calm, quiet environment here, but frankly, with neighbors above, below and on all sides, sometimes we can’t ensure his peace and quiet, and sometimes we’ll come home to find that someone has been sawing wood all day next door and Dub has left three piles of puke on the floor and/or knocked things over trying to climb/hide to get away from the noise.

He takes liquid Pepcid every day, which seems to calm his tummy and prevent him from throwing up. During the worst time of stress for him, he took an herbal supplement we got at the vet’s office called NutraCalm that helped a great deal. That might be something to look into to help during the transition?

There are also those sort of kitty pheromone sprays and wall plug-ins that are geared toward preventing scent marking issues, but I have also heard of people using them with some success for other behavioral issues.

As for the crying, my kitties have only done so on two occasions, and both were the result of roommates burning massive quantities of very fresh garlic in toaster ovens. But I do think that cats feel and show a wider range of emotions than they are often given credit for, and you guys seem to be very in-tune with that. This is not a bad thing; it just shows how much you care about their total well-being. I wish I had an answer for you, but I know you’ll do what it takes to find out what’s going on.

As you guys know, it’s hard when you’re going through it, but just being patient and loving is the most important thing. Tucker will probably still need some extra loving and attention during this time (those orange boys are so high-maintenance!), but I think in the end he’ll be just fine.

SO, things are much better now. Tucker is back to some of his usual tricks and he hasn’t cried since Sunday morning, so that’s good. I wrote to lisa on Sunday morning in a panic and she wrote me back right away to say that I need to chill out. (In so many words, which is what I wanted to hear.) That it was way to soon to think they would never get along. That I should wait it out. And I’m happy to report that things are better now. They aren’t perfect, but they are better. The moment I see a lick or a snug will be the moment I am sure.

Seriously, I’m not sure if I have always been this uppity and anxious or if the hormones are doing some of the work for me. Either way, it’s tiring. I need to remember that these little fellas are indeed animals, for their sake and my own. (I tend to assume they feel things JUST like human beings. I’m not sure that’s good for any of us.)

So glad to hear things are improving!

wow – i’ve never heard of a cat crying before! once, i cat-sat for a friend’s kitten for a month and it took about two weeks before my cats stopped hissing at the poor kittie. but by the end, they were good pals, all curled up together on the couch – even my older cat who was far from friendly.

i can’t handle that paws up photo of murray – it’s too adorable!

Murray is gorgeous! I love his markings. I’m glad to hear things are going better at home. Some cats adjust to a new family member rather quickly, and others have a very tough time! Because Seven is so aggressive, I have to keep the new kid in a separate room for about three weeks before actually introducing them, and even then there is frequently some bloodshed. :(

I am happy to report that things with Tucker have gotten much, much better. Even Pookum is dealing with Murray’s weirdness. She just watches him and probably judges his goofiness. Tucker is actually playing with him now and today they slept together. Awwwww. Yay for new kittens and old kittens getting along!

That is so, so great to hear!

Just got back from the vet’s office with Dub, and he was EXTREMELY stressed the whole time… so much so that Mike peeked into the carrier on the way there and said “he’s crying!” He had these big wet tears streaming down his little cheeks! Then on the way back, I looked in on him and while he was much calmer, he had two big tears sitting just below his eyes. I swear it was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. My heart was breaking at having caused him to get so upset (necessary evil though it was).

So yes. Cats can and do cry. I’ve seen it.

Wow! First of all, I am sorry he cried. But isn’t it remarkable? Tucker hasn’t done it since. Tobyjoe is convinced Tucker was crying because he realized Schmitty wasn’t coming back home again when we brought the new guy in. It happened right as I was serving him breakfast, which used to be a cute little routine between he and Schmitty. he did everything as planned, but there was no Schmitty. That’s when he started to cry. It’s heartbreaking to see. I feel for you, Jen.

Well, now I’M crying yet again and I’m not even pregnant! This makes me wonder how often this happens and we humans just write it off as allergies or dust. There is just so much we don’t know… it wasn’t that long ago that doctors felt that infants didn’t feel pain ( http://en.citizendium.org/wiki/Pain_in_babies )

Lisa, that’s amazing. I had no idea… but wow. How could anyone assume such a thing?

Michele, mealtimes are such a routine for our kitties. Dub and Kali do what we call the “Mew Mew Review” where they do basically a little song and dance number when they are getting their crunchies. It’s freaking cute, and when Dub was in the hospital last year and not around for it, Kali definitely felt sad about it. She wasn’t nearly as interested in any of that stuff as normal.

Dub spent lots of the day after we got home from the vet hanging out in the sunny front window, getting lots of pets and scritches, and he only really sulked for about 20 minutes after we got home. I went to check on him in the window about an hour after, and he was happy and purring and grabbed my hand, then firmly rested his little paw on top of it. I think he’s forgiven me for the whole ordeal, though I’m gonna have quite the battle scar from trying to get him into his carrier – he got me good right across the chest. No low-cut tops for me anytime soon!